“Be perfect” (Matt. 5:48) and “anxious for nothing” (Phil. 4:6).
This tall order from the New Testament may put modern parents into a cold sweat. Parental perfectionism and anxiety are surely on the rise, but in his annual Headmaster’s Lecture at The Heights School, Alvaro de Vicente talks us down. He shows us the compatibility and wisdom of these two Biblical encouragements by refocusing on the process of growth—moral, academic, athletic, and spiritual—over simply the apparent results.
Chapters:
2:41 Introduction: being “good enough”
8:15 A new way to see perfection
10:07 Context changes our expectations
17:34 Setting reasonable expectations
24:46 Acknowledging our son’s freedom
29:28 Parental anxiety: danger ÷ opportunity
36:54 Surrounded by goodness, a twitch upon the thread
40:53 Perseverance through hard times
47:42 Addressing real problems
53:15 Ultimately, in God’s hands
Links:
Men in the Making, Alvaro de Vicente’s Substack
Loss of the Creature by Walker Percy
Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
Minority Report (2002)
The Innocence of Father Brown by G. K. Chesterton
Peace Like a River by Leif Enger
Also on the Forum:
Failure Is a Great Tutor—Don’t Fire Him by Alvaro de Vicente
Unanxious Leadership featuring Colin Gleason
On Anxious Generation and Bad Therapy featuring Dr. Kevin Majeres
Seeing Our Boys with Loving Eyes: Not Projects, but Persons featuring Tom Royals
From Anxiety to Adventure: On Reframing Challenges featuring Dr. Kevin Majeres
Featured Opportunities:
Fall Open House at The Heights School (October 18, 2025)
Fathers’ Conference at The Heights School (November 1, 2025)
Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025) sold out
The Art of Teaching Boys Conference at The Heights School (January 7-9, 2026 / May 6-8, 2026)