The art of mentoring is not just for teachers and coaches, but also parents—who can never really be out of mentoring mode.
In a recent Substack article, Alvaro de Vicente named five pitfalls for our attempts at mentoring young men. This week, he talks us through some of the takeaways, reminding us that mentoring is not a profound lecture but an ongoing conversation, and the goal is not to modify but to form.
Chapters:
3:49 What mentoring is
4:35 Conversation as the basis
8:55 Parents: always in mentor mode
10:13 Presence over “meaningful content”
16:01 Weighty conversations
18:25 Daily conversations
21:24 Love unlocks a child
30:48 Urgent conversations
33:34 When to mandate
35:36 When to end the conversation
37:33 Formation is a game of inches
Links:
Men in the Making, Alvaro de Vicente’s Substack
Five Conversational Temptations Mentors and Parents Commonly Face by Alvaro de Vicente
Peace Like a River by Leif Enger
Only the Lover Sings by Josef Pieper
Also on the Forum:
Having Better Mentoring Conversations by Alvaro de Vicente
Forming Others: What Mentoring Can and Can’t Be featuring Colin Gleason
Anthropological Foundations of Mentoring featuring Dr. Joseph Lanzilotti
Mentoring without a Program: Joe Cardenas on Teaching the Whole Person featuring Joe Cardenas
Featured Opportunities:
Headmaster’s Lecture on Freedom in the Home at The Heights School (October 4, 2025)
Fall Open House at The Heights School (October 18, 2025)
Fathers’ Conference at The Heights School (November 1, 2025)
Convivium for Teaching Men at The Heights School (November 13-15, 2025)