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Parenting from Fear: Alvaro de Vicente on Reasons for Confidence

Parents love their children and desire the best for them. Yet at times the world seems full of dangers and obstacles to a child’s ultimate good. Because of this, a certain fear may cast a shadow on the ways parents relate to their children.

To discuss parenting and fear, we welcome back Mr. Alvaro de Vicente to HeightsCast. In the episode, Alvaro explains some of the dangers of being overprotective and parenting from a sense of fear. Rather, he encourages parents to prudently discern moments to give their children the space for making the right choice on their own, which of course means that they also have the freedom to make a mistake. At the same time, Alvaro offers advice on optimistic and formative ways to say “no” to one’s children, when such is necessary.

As Alvaro reminds us, gratitude for the good received helps one to make positive decisions about the good to be done. If families make intentional time to remember and give thanks to God for the goodness in the world, parents and children alike will be naturally drawn to that Goodness from which the world came.


  • 0:40 Introduction: fear based parenting
  • 2:15 Why we fall into parenting with fear
  • 3:50 Manifestations of parenting with fear
  • 9:05 How and when to say “no”
  • 11:58 The middle class myth and parental anxiety
  • 14:05 Why parents should avoid this mode of parenting
  • 17:20 Rebellious children
  • 19:05 Why we shouldn’t be afraid
  • 21:40 Practical considerations
  • 27:12 The unexpected, difficult questions
  • 30:30 Parenting with optimism

Also on the Forum 

Parental Authority: Our Role with Dr. Leonard Sax

Discipline in the Classroom: The Art of Order with Colin Gleason

Friendship for Fathers: Living and Teaching the Art with Prof. John Cuddeback

Parenting: Patience or Optimism with Andy Reed

His Anxiety and Ours: Confessions of an Anxious Parent Who Happens to Be a Therapist with Alex Berthé

About the Guest

Alvaro de Vicente

Headmaster, The Heights School

In addition to his responsibilities as headmaster of The Heights, Alvaro acts as a mentor to high schoolers, and teachers senior Apologetics.

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